When did I become a grown up?

Recently I was talking with my sister in-law Lauren and she said she realized she was a grown up when she was sick and so was her 11 month old daughter and no one was there to take care of her. Lauren that is. Her daughter was obviously taken care of.

There are many things in life that make us feel more like a "grown up" like getting our first job, paying for our own car payment/insurance, staying out as late as we want, dating, getting married etc. The list goes on and on. But one thing that will almost always make you feel more grown-up is when a little child is completely and totally relying on you to care for them.

After Layla's first birthday on the 7th my husband Mike got sick with your typical cold/cough/sore throat. I got sick the week after. And now Layla is sick. Nothing is worse than when your child, especially one so young as Layla, is ill. Her eyes tell it all, they're watery and red and look at me with the saddest expression that if Layla could form sentences I imagine she would say "mommy please make me all better". I can't explain to Layla she will get better. I can't rationalize how if I use the Boogie Wipes and the nose aspirator she'll feel better because all she knows is she hates them and thinks I am torturing her.

So, I rock her and hold her, I keep her comfortable, I check her temperature, I feed her, I change her diaper, I wipe boogers, I pat her back when she coughs, and I just hope and pray that she knows I am doing everything I can to make her feel better. And you know what? It doesn't matter to me that I am losing sleep at night when she cries, or that I can't go run errands because I don't want her outside. It doesn't bother me that when I pick up a load of laundry that needs folding she wakes up from the shortest nap ever. Because she needs me. I am her mommy. I am now a grown up. I don't have someone taking care of me anymore, now I am doing the taking care of.

Sleeping baby